After yesterday’s blog post I had a short nap and went to see my friend again and we talked and talked for hours. Until it was dinner time and I left. I had not written a single word for my book either, but by the time I came back to my room I was so exhausted and fell asleep by 9:30pm. I decided to write 4000 words today instead.
And so I woke up at 5:30am, feeling fresh and fabulous after a beautiful heart meditation. As I want to write as much from my heart as possible, these heart meditations really help.
As of yesterday my heart does funny things in my meditations. Yesterday it jumped out of my body and took me by my hands and we were jumping around joyfully and then it hugged me deeply. Same today. But today it took me by my hands and said: “Follow me”. So I followed. It brought me to some very dark place and I got scared. My heart said: “Don’t be scared. Nothing can ever happen to you if you follow me. And after every darkness there always comes light”. And as it was saying this, we approached the most beautiful beach at night-time. Stars everywhere. We ran into the water, which was warm and sea stars were dancing all around us. As I left the water I turned into a dancing and singing moon goddess, singing and dancing just for the moon before the sun starts rising.
Isn’t that a wonderful way to start your day? 🙂
I wrote my 2000 words this morning and by 9 am I was ready. I am happy to share that according to my writing software I have completed 10.9 % of my novel so far. 😀
The other evening I watched “Searching for Sugar Man” for the 2nd time. It’s such a wonderful documentary. If you haven’t watched it, please do. I don’t even want to start describing it, as words won’t do it any justice. All I can say is that’s it’s about a musician, who with his voice, lyrics and above all his humbleness will capture your heart.
His humbleness is what made me watch this documentary again. It has pure magic. This man radiates pure faith and love. A living prophet, living a simple life without all the drama that comes with becoming famous.
It made me wonder about our culture today, where everyone is after recognition and/or fame, never satisfied, always wanting more. And I asked myself the question: Why do I so deeply want to write this book and have it published? Am I only a writer once I am published or do I get published because I am a writer? And why the need to get published? Do I want or need the fame?
As I thought about this, the answer is no. Fame is not what I want. It actually scares me. I’m an introverted person, who loves spending time alone (lots of it). I truly dislike big gatherings of people and for sure I dislike when all the attention is on me. Which is why I write. This is how I express myself to the world. Many things that I do not speak about, I write about. It has always been like this.
I want to get published because to me, being published is like giving birth to new ideas, new worlds and new stories that need to be told. Right now I feel “pregnant” as I’m full of ideas and full of love that needs to manifest itself somehow in written form. Something that is bigger than me and that I want to share with others.
Which is why my daily mantra is (which is a post it note on my laptop) “Your message matters. Step into the spotlight.” 🙂
Any other writers reading this? Why do you write? Why do you want to get published? What does fame mean to you?