The doubting bug


Good morning everyone 🙂

The doubting bug has bitten me. Big time! After I was so happy with my book outline (the 10 main scene cards I had to fill in) suddenly I wasn’t so sure anymore. Suddenly other images started forming in my head. I also did some extensive research for a few of the things my book needed research for. The more you research, and the more information you gather, the more ideas you have, and the more you want to include.

I don’t want to write a 150.000 words book, it should remain in the 70.000 words range. But then again, there are so many characters that I created in my head and locations that need to be fully explained. As this is a “fantasy novel”, much of the locations will be created in my head.

Anyway, yesterday I decided to leave it up to the universe what information should be in my book and I asked a specific question. Since then I have been drawn towards a particular location I want to include and have been inspired by it. Now I’m doubting whether I can bring this location into life, i.e. it looks amazing when I visualise it all, but can I actually put all these visions and feelings into words?

Yesterday was also the last day I met with Adriano and his uncle. We did one meditation exercise and once again Adriano amazed me with what he could see/visualise. I brought him to the location I would like to write about (in his meditation) and his detailed descriptions and explanations matched with what his uncle observed during the same meditation and with some of the things I had seen in my own meditations. Quite astonishing. 🙂

I can’t describe how lucky I am to have been able to work with such a fantastic human being like Adriano. He is so gifted in many ways and I’m sure when he grows up he will be an inspiring person to be around. That’s the thing with autism or kids with behavioural problems such as ADD etc, I firmly believe that all these kids have a gift and that they came here with a mission, to teach us something. Adriano for sure taught me a lot already. When he found his mother dead when he came back home from school he was only 11. And since then his biggest question was whether she was in paradise and well. He felt her in his room many times just before going to bed. It was like her spirit came to say good night, he told me. His faith in “paradise”, the afterlife, all things spiritual truly amazed me. It’s like speaking to a grown up spiritual person, only that he only turned 14 a few months ago.

When I said good-bye yesterday to Adriano and his uncle, his uncle Jean-Pierre comforted me by saying that he was sure my novel would be amazing. His uncle sits in a wheelchair, and he looks like the incarnation of an Indian Chief. A truly old and wise soul full of kindness and compassion. Both Adriano and Jean-Pierre were the highlite of my 2013. My favourite people to work with. Here is a pic of the 3 of us:


So I thank the universe for bringing these 2 people into my life and for all the inspiration they have given me.

Today I guess I will change my outline a bit to reflect the new ideas I had. The good thing about having an outline is that you actually get a good feeling about what’s working and what isn’t, before you start writing a novel and realise that you have to start from scratch. It also triggers more and more creativity and more ideas. Of course at some point I hope I will be happy with the outline, so that I can actually start writing. 🙂

Have a wonderful day everyone!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s